If anyone was to ask what the worst bit of diagnosis is, for me, undoubtably it was the thought of leaving my son without a mum. I just had to picture his face and I was in floods of tears. How would he manage without his mum looking out for him. Since my ex left, its just been me and him. I spoil him far more than I should but hey, thats my perogative. We've been through some tough times and he's the most important person in my life. I know he has his Dad but its not the same as a mums love. I couldn't and still can't bear to think of him in a world where he hasn't got me to turn to. He was almost 16 at time of diagnosis. And I wasn't sure if I would see him get any older.
That day I was discharged home with my verdict - my niece drove me and we discussed what I should tell him about what I knew. I decided that he needed to know the truth, but without the nitty gritty. I went upstairs whilst she broke the news to him and his dad. I couldn't bear to look at him while she broke his heart. Then I came down and acted the way I normally do - a bit of humour - and a brave face. He wouldnt see me cry - I was the calmest person around.
From that point, I decided I would face whatever was thrown at me full on. Just bring it on....
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